Greedy

Greedy stars Michael J. Fox. You won’t necessarily realize that from the way the movie’s being advertised, but it’s a Fox vehicle. Not that you can blame the studio for wanting to downplay its star – his last two movies have thoroughly bombed at the box office. But why pick on Michael? It’s the screenwriters and the director who should be shot.

As the Beatles might note, Greedy is a dirty story about a dirty man, whose clinging family just doesn’t understand. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to understand. The McTeague clan is a pack of grasping vultures who can’t wait for their rich Uncle John (Kirk Douglas) to drop dead. Likewise, Douglas can’t stand his family and jerks them around at every opportunity. He also has a new nurse/companion (Olivia d’Abo), a former pizza delivery girl who dropped into his lap – repeatedly.

Fearing that the old geezer is becoming d’Abo’s sex slave, the McTeagues recruit Uncle John’s long-lost nephew (Fox) to help. As a kid, Fox’s impersonation of Jimmy Durante won favor in Uncle John’s teeny, tiny heart. (Obviously, it doesn’t take much to be cute in the McTeague family.)

There’s supposed to be really biting black comedy going on here, but Greedy plays like Married…With Children minus any real kicks or jabs. What’s more, the movie suddenly goes sentimental for no apparent reason. It’s as if the screenwriters – Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel – ran out of material after the first 20 minutes.

Greedy was directed by Jonathan Lynn, who previously scored a good hit with My Cousin Vinny. I saw My Cousin Vinny. I laughed through My Cousin Vinny. This is not My Cousin Vinny.